Convincing Myself the Grass Isn't Greener on the Other Side

It's so easy to get caught up into the chaos of life and forgetting to treasure the little things. We all are guilty of this. People who have minor disabilities, disorders, or diseases have to live by this saying or they'll have trouble simply living day to day.

I follow this girl on twitter that once tweeted a thought that I had felt so many times since being diagnosed with Celiac Disease but hadn't realized it until she made it vocal. It went along the lines of "Sometimes I wake up and wonder how this life of Celiac Disease became mine."

It's so true.

For people who didn't aquire Celiac Disease until way after they were born, they constantly find themselves thinking about how life was before their disagnoses--at least I do. It's weird to think about that for the first 20 years of my life, I didn't have anything potentially holding me back. I didn't even know what gluten was.

I honestly miss the taste of a glazed donut, the ability to go to any restaurant and order what I want, and the satisfying thought of knowing I just bought a burger for $1 (from McDonalds).

But this is my life now. Though it is good that I know what all these foods that I can't eat anymore taste like, sometimes I wonder if it would have been better if I never knew what I'm missing out on. I have to remind myself most days that I should be happy that I don't have cancer, I'm not pregnant, and I have a great life yet to be lived.

I am healthy and eating gluten-free makes me stay that way. The end.

Taking My Gluten Free Vacation Virginity

Well, I did it. I went on my first Gluten Free vacation.

The good news: I didn't gluten myself. The bad news: how emotionally draining I found it to be on vacation with someone who doesn't understand the gluten free lifestyle. Sometimes I worried I was a burden or that I was going to starve from all the salads I'd eat. And, obviously I worried about initially glutening myself.

I really look up to the people with Celiac Disease who go on vacations often, travelling across the globe, effortlessly finding gluten free food. They make it sound like such a small accomplishment but kudos to them.

I'm not a controlling person or an anxious person in general, but take any Celiac Diseaser to a restaurant they haven't been to and they're willing to get sweaty palms about it. Throughout the entire 4 day vacation, I kept waiting for my stomach to reject whatever food I was depositing into it. I even find it hard to trust that the waiter/waitress knows what gluten free means or if they just assume it's safe. Does anyone else have worries like this or am I just too cautious?

The little control I had over my trip itinerary was probably the main cause of the anxiety I would experience around meal times. In the future, I plan on travelling with people who know me well enough to know what foods I can and cannot eat so I don't have to explain myself the entire time. However, my first gluten free vacation still went a lot better than I thought it would. But boy am I happy to be back to my gluten free kitchen :)

~How was your first gluten free vacation??~

Does Patience Come With Time?

It has come to my attention that most of my blogs seem to shed a negative light on Celiac Disease. I suppose it's because I'm in that state of mind with the disease that I resent it more than I embrace it at the moment. Do people embrace it more over time?

When explaining my gluten free lifestyle to people, I don't tell anyone that I hate it but in my head the thought definitely crosses my mind. I don't want to come off ungrateful for being able to rid myself of the stomach issues I had for 2 and a half years undiagnosed. I don't want to be that girl that whines and complains about things she can't control.

Since I have made it pretty clear that this is a positive blog, not a negative one, I'm going to list the benefits of being diagnosed with Celiac Disease, emotionally and physically:

1) Forcing you to eat home cooked meals, not fast food or restaurant food, which can be very unhealthy

2) Finding out who your real friends are. Your true friends will go through the process with you, researching the meaning of Celiac Disease and restaurants and foods you can eat

3) Sence of maturity, knowing that one slip up can cause you pain for hours, or even days. Yes, you always have to be on guard, but you realize that the fate of your stomach is your own decision

4) It's a great conversation starter for people who want to know a random fact about you. It takes them off gaurd, which I find entertaining

5) Appreciation for the taste of food. I used to be a really picky eater and it just makes me cringe because, now, as long as something tastes like food and not cardboard, it puts me in the best mood ever. It doesn't take a Celiac Diseaser long to realize the red flags for cardboard-tasting food. Eating home cooked meals always taste better than any precooked meal found at the grocery store.

So there you have it. But what I really want to know: Do people truly embrace the disease more over time?? I sure hope so. I can see how the link between Celiac Disease to depression is very high (Don't worry. Celiac Disease doesn't get to me that much)

(Follow me on Twitter @HoldTheWheat)

Going Against the Celiac's Motto

Sometimes I wonder if the articles I read about Celiac Disease are really truthful or not. On twitter, these articles are passed around the Celiac tweeters from one retweet to another. And it seems like there is a new one popping up almost everyday: "Celiac Disease may raise migraine risk", "Do people born in the spring at higher risk of being diagnosed with Celiac Disease?", "Celiac Disease may initially present as a neurological disorder"....

Most of these articles are day ruiners for us Celiacs because they're not exactly aimed at cheering us up. But a person is probably a lot more likely to read an article about risks and hazards than one about how going gluten-free is a great opportunity to switch to healthy and natural foods. I bet that for every article that talks about advantages of going gluten-free, there's at least 5 articles saying the opposite.

However, the Celiac motto is "Better Safe Than Sorry" and ignoring articles like the one's I've been complaining about goes against this particular motto. We want to know everything about our disease, whether it is legit or not. I can't tell you the amount of times I've avoided eating a certain type of food simply because just one person posted online about getting a reaction to it. That's a lot of trust I am putting into a stranger's opinion on the internet.

I think it's about time that doctors, writers, and whoever else who claims that they've got Celiac Disease all figured out to finally admit that they actually don't. They are doing more harm than good by filling our gullible minds with hypotheses that don't have enough facts or evidence on its side to be proven true. We simply don't know much about this autoimmune disease yet and maybe we never really will. I'd rather be fed 1 truth than 100 lies that are supposed to make me feel informed.

Now that's my take on the matter. What's yours??

Not Just a Habit, It' s a Lifestyle

Celiac Disease is a lifestyle. Anyone who is diagnosed with it can say no different. The words 'gluten free' are on my mind 24/7, even if I'm unaware of it. Yes, I know Celiac Disease should only be relevant and present when it comes to eating but people are eating all the time. I can't even tell you the amount of times a day I am offered some sort of food and, unfortunately, I have to deny most of it, even when I'm starving.

The proof is in my dreams. I seriously Gluten myself in my sleep once a month. I can't escape it. Why can't I eat a hypothetical donut?? I know I'm not actually being Glutened but my dream will tell me otherwise. I always wake up completely drained from making myself feel nauseaus. But then again: my dreams always seem real to me, in a way that I don't think other people can relate too. For instance, when I'm dying in a dream, I seriously feel like it's happening. I know what it feels like to be shot, burned, beheaded, and any other form of torture (slightly exaggerating, but you get the gist).

-But that's besides the point. This blog is about Celiac Disease and I intend to keep it that way.-

You have to legitimately train your mind and body to be alert and disciplined at all times. I wish I could put "I have Celiac Disease" on my resume and managers could understand the traits and learning experiences that have come from this fact alone.

Now that you've read this, imagine what this phrase's true meaning is: "My name is Amanda Schebler and I have Celiac Disease."

(Follow me on twitter @HoldTheWheat)