Forever Unaswered Questions

The pain gets worse each time: acid reflux, stomach cramps, numerous trips to the bathroom, feeling feverish. The only thing that would keep me going is knowing that it will go away within 3 hours.

When I first started going gluten-free, I used to have a 'slip up', aka gluten myself, more than once a month. There was a period of time last summer, 3 months into my new diet/lifestyle, where I was glutening myself once a week. That's when it truly hit me that each slip up was more painful than the last. Ever since then, I've been getting increasingly more cautious as time goes on because I know what all I have to lose.

Recently I began to wonder, how often do other Celiac Diseasers gluten themselves? What's the norm? I can gladly say that the last time I was glutened was 5 months ago but I have nothing and no one to compare my accomplishment to.

The thing that really freaks me out is that the pain truly does get worse over time. But does it ever hit a point where the level of pain levels out, or does it truly get worse and worse? How bad will my symptoms be when I'm 30, 40, or 50??

At this point in the gluten free game that is my life, you couldn't pay me enough money for me to willingly gluten myself -- unless a million dollars is out of the question.

Gluten Free = Contains Wheat?!

I've never been a very observant person when it comes to grocery shopping. I didn't even trust myself to go grocery shopping alone until I literally had to do it otherwise I couldn't eat.

My sister was always my favorite shopping buddy because she noticed the details that my mind automatically ignored. "The buy one get one free is for that type of cereal, not this one..." "The milk's leaking..." "You dropped your wallet on the ground over there..."

Ok may I make myself sound a little more helpless than the reality of the situation but the moral of the story is: I just didn't pay attention at the grocery store. So imagine how hard it was for me to grocery shop after being diagnosed with Celiac Disease and being forced to check every label of every food. Let's just say it wasn't a piece of (gf) cake.

I'd say after a year of my label-checking routine, I've got it down...But there are still times when I slip up, and that means money down the drain and a potential glutened situation.

I'm used to slipping up but I'm not used to slipping up when I bought something from the gluten free section of the grocery store. Last week, I decided to start trying out gluten free soups so I stocked up on a few. Right when I was about to heat them up, I glanced down at the label and saw: "contains wheat". I was pissed! Every can I bought contained wheat. I'm sorry for thinking that gluten free meant it doesn't contain gluten.

I'm not sure if the store intentionally stuck those cans of soup in the gluten free section because the were Annie's brand but I have definitely learned my lesson: Check literally every label of every food!!

Has anyone else had a mishap like this happen or am I just shopping at the wrong grocery store??

Oh and in case you're wondering, I prefer to shop alone now-a-days and have completely weaned myself off of using shopping buddies.

Convincing Myself the Grass Isn't Greener on the Other Side

It's so easy to get caught up into the chaos of life and forgetting to treasure the little things. We all are guilty of this. People who have minor disabilities, disorders, or diseases have to live by this saying or they'll have trouble simply living day to day.

I follow this girl on twitter that once tweeted a thought that I had felt so many times since being diagnosed with Celiac Disease but hadn't realized it until she made it vocal. It went along the lines of "Sometimes I wake up and wonder how this life of Celiac Disease became mine."

It's so true.

For people who didn't aquire Celiac Disease until way after they were born, they constantly find themselves thinking about how life was before their disagnoses--at least I do. It's weird to think about that for the first 20 years of my life, I didn't have anything potentially holding me back. I didn't even know what gluten was.

I honestly miss the taste of a glazed donut, the ability to go to any restaurant and order what I want, and the satisfying thought of knowing I just bought a burger for $1 (from McDonalds).

But this is my life now. Though it is good that I know what all these foods that I can't eat anymore taste like, sometimes I wonder if it would have been better if I never knew what I'm missing out on. I have to remind myself most days that I should be happy that I don't have cancer, I'm not pregnant, and I have a great life yet to be lived.

I am healthy and eating gluten-free makes me stay that way. The end.

Taking My Gluten Free Vacation Virginity

Well, I did it. I went on my first Gluten Free vacation.

The good news: I didn't gluten myself. The bad news: how emotionally draining I found it to be on vacation with someone who doesn't understand the gluten free lifestyle. Sometimes I worried I was a burden or that I was going to starve from all the salads I'd eat. And, obviously I worried about initially glutening myself.

I really look up to the people with Celiac Disease who go on vacations often, travelling across the globe, effortlessly finding gluten free food. They make it sound like such a small accomplishment but kudos to them.

I'm not a controlling person or an anxious person in general, but take any Celiac Diseaser to a restaurant they haven't been to and they're willing to get sweaty palms about it. Throughout the entire 4 day vacation, I kept waiting for my stomach to reject whatever food I was depositing into it. I even find it hard to trust that the waiter/waitress knows what gluten free means or if they just assume it's safe. Does anyone else have worries like this or am I just too cautious?

The little control I had over my trip itinerary was probably the main cause of the anxiety I would experience around meal times. In the future, I plan on travelling with people who know me well enough to know what foods I can and cannot eat so I don't have to explain myself the entire time. However, my first gluten free vacation still went a lot better than I thought it would. But boy am I happy to be back to my gluten free kitchen :)

~How was your first gluten free vacation??~

Does Patience Come With Time?

It has come to my attention that most of my blogs seem to shed a negative light on Celiac Disease. I suppose it's because I'm in that state of mind with the disease that I resent it more than I embrace it at the moment. Do people embrace it more over time?

When explaining my gluten free lifestyle to people, I don't tell anyone that I hate it but in my head the thought definitely crosses my mind. I don't want to come off ungrateful for being able to rid myself of the stomach issues I had for 2 and a half years undiagnosed. I don't want to be that girl that whines and complains about things she can't control.

Since I have made it pretty clear that this is a positive blog, not a negative one, I'm going to list the benefits of being diagnosed with Celiac Disease, emotionally and physically:

1) Forcing you to eat home cooked meals, not fast food or restaurant food, which can be very unhealthy

2) Finding out who your real friends are. Your true friends will go through the process with you, researching the meaning of Celiac Disease and restaurants and foods you can eat

3) Sence of maturity, knowing that one slip up can cause you pain for hours, or even days. Yes, you always have to be on guard, but you realize that the fate of your stomach is your own decision

4) It's a great conversation starter for people who want to know a random fact about you. It takes them off gaurd, which I find entertaining

5) Appreciation for the taste of food. I used to be a really picky eater and it just makes me cringe because, now, as long as something tastes like food and not cardboard, it puts me in the best mood ever. It doesn't take a Celiac Diseaser long to realize the red flags for cardboard-tasting food. Eating home cooked meals always taste better than any precooked meal found at the grocery store.

So there you have it. But what I really want to know: Do people truly embrace the disease more over time?? I sure hope so. I can see how the link between Celiac Disease to depression is very high (Don't worry. Celiac Disease doesn't get to me that much)

(Follow me on Twitter @HoldTheWheat)

Going Against the Celiac's Motto

Sometimes I wonder if the articles I read about Celiac Disease are really truthful or not. On twitter, these articles are passed around the Celiac tweeters from one retweet to another. And it seems like there is a new one popping up almost everyday: "Celiac Disease may raise migraine risk", "Do people born in the spring at higher risk of being diagnosed with Celiac Disease?", "Celiac Disease may initially present as a neurological disorder"....

Most of these articles are day ruiners for us Celiacs because they're not exactly aimed at cheering us up. But a person is probably a lot more likely to read an article about risks and hazards than one about how going gluten-free is a great opportunity to switch to healthy and natural foods. I bet that for every article that talks about advantages of going gluten-free, there's at least 5 articles saying the opposite.

However, the Celiac motto is "Better Safe Than Sorry" and ignoring articles like the one's I've been complaining about goes against this particular motto. We want to know everything about our disease, whether it is legit or not. I can't tell you the amount of times I've avoided eating a certain type of food simply because just one person posted online about getting a reaction to it. That's a lot of trust I am putting into a stranger's opinion on the internet.

I think it's about time that doctors, writers, and whoever else who claims that they've got Celiac Disease all figured out to finally admit that they actually don't. They are doing more harm than good by filling our gullible minds with hypotheses that don't have enough facts or evidence on its side to be proven true. We simply don't know much about this autoimmune disease yet and maybe we never really will. I'd rather be fed 1 truth than 100 lies that are supposed to make me feel informed.

Now that's my take on the matter. What's yours??

Not Just a Habit, It' s a Lifestyle

Celiac Disease is a lifestyle. Anyone who is diagnosed with it can say no different. The words 'gluten free' are on my mind 24/7, even if I'm unaware of it. Yes, I know Celiac Disease should only be relevant and present when it comes to eating but people are eating all the time. I can't even tell you the amount of times a day I am offered some sort of food and, unfortunately, I have to deny most of it, even when I'm starving.

The proof is in my dreams. I seriously Gluten myself in my sleep once a month. I can't escape it. Why can't I eat a hypothetical donut?? I know I'm not actually being Glutened but my dream will tell me otherwise. I always wake up completely drained from making myself feel nauseaus. But then again: my dreams always seem real to me, in a way that I don't think other people can relate too. For instance, when I'm dying in a dream, I seriously feel like it's happening. I know what it feels like to be shot, burned, beheaded, and any other form of torture (slightly exaggerating, but you get the gist).

-But that's besides the point. This blog is about Celiac Disease and I intend to keep it that way.-

You have to legitimately train your mind and body to be alert and disciplined at all times. I wish I could put "I have Celiac Disease" on my resume and managers could understand the traits and learning experiences that have come from this fact alone.

Now that you've read this, imagine what this phrase's true meaning is: "My name is Amanda Schebler and I have Celiac Disease."

(Follow me on twitter @HoldTheWheat)

Future (Gluten Free) Betty Crocker

Variety. I seem to be lacking this in my diet but I am too poor/too lazy/too busy to do anything about it today, or tomorrow, or the day after that.

I look forward to the random weekends spent at my parent's house mostly because the promise of actual homecooked (gluten-free) meals that I lack in my current diet living on my own. Before I was diagnosed with Celiac Disease, I never craved a homecooked meal like this because there are so many options for (for a lack of a better word) 'normal' people. Former Me used to live off of frozen meals, fast food, and junk food.

First of all, gluten-free frozen food is soooo expensive and frankly tastes like moth balls most of the time. Secondly, the only fast food available for me now is a baked potato from Wendy's. I'm too much of a pansy to attempt any other fast food at the moment. 4 hour symptoms of the stomach flu is not worth it only for a variation of a Big Mac without the bun. Sorry McDonalds. And lastly, I can still eat a lot of junkfood (for example, most chips and ice cream) but do I really want to live off of it? I'm not pooping my guts out after every meal anymore, which means my built-in extremely fast metabolism no longer exists. If you're squeamish, maybe you should have skipped over that sentence.

The moral of the story is that, nearly a year of my new diet later, I truly am starting to realize that I need to start cooking some real meals around here. My current goal to start being Betty Crocker is when I graduate college at the end of May. I think this is a legit goal because right now I'm only a poor college student. I lack the time and the money for the commitment needed for real cooking.

(If you read through my blog and want to know more, follow me on twitter @HoldTheWheat)

Celiac Diseaser's Version of YOLO

I have 2 words for you. 2 glorious words that any person in thier school years will appreciate as much as a snow day....SPRING BREAK! Bring on the kegs, suburns, day drinking, oceans, wet t-shirt contests. Just kidding! This is may be some people's spring breaks but I have yet to have one that consisted any of these things, except for sunburns and oceans. And this upcoming spring break is the last one I will ever experience.

The other day my dad asked if I wanted to come visit him in South Carolina for my spring break. I was totally for it! And now he's talking about us potentially visiting my uncle in St. Thomas for a couple days on top of that. Sounds like a dream come true, right?

I reveled in this dream vacation to come until I realized that this would be my first vacation since being diagnosed with Celiac Disease. My dad has only seen me once since my diagnosis and he was saying things like "You'll grow out of this within 7 years I bet." and "Good thing there's not a pill to fix it because it sucks having to be reliant on something." Moral of the story is: He simply doesn't get it. So I am willingly putting my tummy on a Russian Roulette in a foreign place for 5 days where we will be eating at restaurants for basically every meal (my dad doesn't cook). If that's not YOLO then I don't know what is.

I am excited yet very nervous about my spring break. Being the planner I am, I have already started looking up resaurants that have gluten free menus in Columbia, South Carolina and now I have to attempt to do that for St. Thomas. I'll make sure to pack a lot of pepto bismol, tums, and immodium. And you better know that I'll be blogging about it when I get back!

(Follow me on twitter @HoldTheWheat)

To Explain Your Disease or Not??

We all have that moment. The moment when you have to make a decision whether to tell them the real reason why you're turning down the candy that they just offered you. If it's not candy, it's a cupcake. And if it's not a cupcake, it's those new crackers advertised on those new commercials. Regardless of whatever awesomely gluten filled treat it is, most of the time it's a forbidden fruit that Celiac Diseasers (is that a word?) are used to denying everyday of thier lives.

However, to tell them the truth turns into a 5 minute conversation where they look at you with a mixture of confusion and like you just told them your puppy recently died. They put you on the spot and ask "Then what do you actually eat?" You don't know how to answer that question. Do they expect you to list off the last 10 meals you ate when you can barely recall what you ate yesterday? In you end, it's best to respond with: "I don't know...Gluten free things."

You wish you had the nerve to tell them it's not as hard or as sad as they think. People would be surprised how easily thier body and mind can adapt to change. I mean, America consumes the most bread than any other country. In fact, there are many countries where they don't even eat wheat and never have.

Most of the time I avoid the whole conversation by simply saying "I'm not hungry". Aint nobody got time for that!

(Follow me on Twitter @HoldTheWheat)

City Living Has its Perks

People with Celiac Disease, or any serious food allergy for that matter, have to plan their meals in advance. This is an easy task for me because I'm naturally a big planner. I mean, I make to-do lists for fun. But it gets a little bit trickier when you want to go out of town for a couple days and you have to plan your meals according to every one else with you. Sadly, ever since I've been diagnosed, I've become more of a homebody, in fear that I'll gluten myself if I eat at new places.

Being in college, my friends occasionally invite me to thier hometown for a random weekend. My best friend and I used to do this often. However, I don't want to inconvience her family now-a-days with my gluten free lifestyle. It also doesn't help that going out to eat is not an option because her town is so small that the 2 restaurants they have don't offer anything gluten free.

Then I came to an epiphany!


I've never been a fan of small towns, especially the ones in my state. But it dawned on me a little while ago how much it would suck living in a small town when you have celiac disease. I'm trying to remain unbiased in my reasonings but big cities, and cities in general, are full of options and this caters to people that have habits that are different from most people's. Also, small towns might not even have a health foods store or place to specifically buy gluten free food.

Though I know it's possible to be gluten free in a small town and thrive, its just a hell of a lot more convenient in a city. I always knew I was a city gal at heart!

(don't forget to follow on Twitter @HoldTheWheat )

The Naivetés That Come With Being Ignorant

When I was younger, I worked at the local Hy-Vee (grocery store). In fact, it was my first job. My basic duties included bagging, carts, and facing. Needless to say, it wasn't the most glamorous of jobs. I remember that every night, a little after the dinner rush, the assistant manager would send someone to go face the entire health market, and it usually was me. I used to growl (not literally) and glare at them because in my mind it took forever to complete the task.

While facing, occasionally I would stop daydreaming and actually pay attention to my surroundings. Everything was so expensive in this section and I always wondered why anyone would pay that much for imitation bread that's rock hard and has dust on the packaging, literally showing how long it has been sitting on the shelf. People would sometimes come up to me and ask questions about the products in health market too. Most of the time I would make up an answer or simply say "I don't know" (I wasn't the model employee). I specifically remember a lady coming up to me one time and asking if I could tell my manager that Hy-Vee should think about carrying gluten-free ketchup. I agreed and told her I would tell them.

But I never did.

I kind of feel like a hypocrite now because, before I got diagnosed, I had no concept of what it was like to go through life with a serious food allergy. I don't necessarily feel guilty about my ignorance now because it makes me more patient with other people who don't understand Celiac Disease and have no intention to. However, now I am the lady asking for gluten-free ketchup and I sure hope the people I'm preaching to are actually listening.


(for more about my day-to-day life, follow me on twitter: @HoldTheWheat )

My Celiac Story

I guess the big question is: what's my personal Celiac story? Without getting too into detail, I want to start off at the moment I realized there was something off with my stomach.

Around 4 years ago, I started to get a really bad case of acid reflux that seemed to come out of nowhere. On my 18th birthday, after eating dinner with my friends, I had to go home because it just felt like there was a storm seriously brewing inside my belly. This went on and off for the entire summer but I went through a phase where I literally couldn't eat and I ended up losing 10 pounds in 2 weeks.

When I entered college, I managed to keep my tummy issues under wraps but every couple months I would go to our student health center, primarily complaining about my acid reflux. For 2 years, I was constantly prescribed medicine for my acid reflux that never helped.

Completely fed up with how disgusting I felt almost all the time, I went to a stomach doctor that eventually performed an upper endoscopy on me and finally diagnosed me correctly. Now, almost a year later, I am still adjusting to this new lifestyle. Skeptical at first, now I know the effect that gluten can have on my body and did have on my body for 2 and a half years without me even knowing it.

I am the only person in my family that possesses Celiac, which is odd because this is a highly genetic disease. Sadly, I fear that my future children are susceptible to it too :(

There are many reasons why I have put the time and effort into making my blog but the main reason is just to spread awareness to everyone in general so people realize it can happen to anyone.

Celiac: From the Beginning

Some people are born with it (and no, it's not Maybelline) , while other people obtain it later on in their life and have to suffer silently until diagnosed probably years after the symptoms first appeared.This is the cycle of probably many illnesses or diseases but the one I will be focusing on in my blogs is: Celiac Disease.

At this very moment there are at least 3 million people probably sitting on the toilet, all in pain, unaware that there is a solution to the crappy (pun intended) feeling they get after eating almost every meal of thier life. Because Celiac Disease has so many symptoms and is a newer disease to the world, doctors don't think to test people of Celiac as often as they should.

Long story short, Celiac Disease is when the body can't digest wheat, barley, or rye. There are people who are gluten intolerant but that isn't as serious as Celiac.

There are symptoms of Celiac that I didn't know about until after I was experiencing the absense of them. Just from my experience since I've been gluten free for the past year, here are a list of symptoms gluten made my body possess: ~irritable bowel syndrome
~acid reflux
~acne
~sinusitis all the time
~nausea

Though I know I've been vague throughout this blog, there is just too much to say in 1 of them. Next time, I will talk about my personal experience of how I finally got diagnosed. I will end this blog with a link to a video that explains way more acturately than I can what it means to have Celiac Disease. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=4v-9U8GbLu0